Would you have sex with your ex

Reckless lust sex with the ex - a good idea?

Sex with the ex can be fantastic, but it can also be fatal. Before you venture into this emotional minefield, you should clarify what you are getting yourself into: disenchantment, jealousy, arguments or maybe renewed feelings?

Sex with your ex is actually a simple thing: you know what you've had and therefore what you're getting. Strictly speaking, there are no surprises, but surprises usually even more. Because there is one thing you should know before having sex with your ex: memories have an unpleasant quality - they are not always honest.

We are all the more for it. This is followed by educational work of the adult kind: You can read the most painful, but also most beautiful truths about sex with your ex here. And ideally «before», as «after».

Side effect # 1: Goodbye illusion

Just as anticipation is often the greatest joy, it can also be with memories. Sometimes indulging in yourself is more fun than the experience itself. Admittedly, it is wonderful to indulge and languish in erotic daydreams about your supposed, but unfortunately bygone, Mr. Right. What didn't work in reality can be played out here in the most dazzling colors and wildest fantasies. Over and over again. But if you land in the feathers of the imagination, you don't always fall gently, because these fanatasies and castles in the air can become flops. Bursted soap bubbles can sometimes have a liberating effect - finally someone else has the chance to get into your head - but they can also leave a yawning emptiness. Then what do you dream of in the office? The decision is yours.

Have all the castles in the air built?

Side effect # 2: The way back

The proverbial cold coffee doesn't taste good when you reheat it. Fortunately, you don't have to. You can also just enjoy it cold. There should be people who like it. That means: you could definitely get a taste for sex with your ex again. And then? Enjoy? Sure, for now. But then? The relationship has failed before - how realistic is a second attempt? And: is it even the second? Or are you a classic repeat offender? Only you know the answer. After all, it is you who have to bear the consequences.

Side effects # 3: His heart is breaking

Face the facts: Not only can it get you, your ex can also enjoy old habits and want the relationship back. And that is no less problematic than the reverse. Because it can be extremely difficult to have to offend a familiar person (again). Heartbreak is preprogrammed - the end of a previously friendly relationship with it. You know your ex best. Will he get carried away?

Do you really want to risk hurting your past love deeply?

Side effects # 4: Changes hurt

This side effect of ex-sex usually hits you unexpectedly and therefore all the harder: The sex has changed. He knows new grips, uses new techniques and otherwise acts differently than before. Who was that? The thought inevitably comes of another woman with whom he has tried these practices and apparently found them to be good. Apparently he had fun without you or at least gained experience. That is a realization that can hurt. Even if you knew it theoretically. The loss of the exclusive position often hurts more than expected. The positive thing about it: For some, this knowledge helps to finally end the relationship. It just hurts others. And then there are those who are delighted with what they have learned and are now benefiting from it with relish. Think about which group you want to belong to.

Side effects # 5: Sex connects

The happiness hormone oxytocin, through which physical love and affection is released, is also known as the feeling hormone, as it promotes the building of trust between two people and intensifies the affection and willingness to cooperate. If couples have rediscovered the desire for each other through the distance of separation, the hormone high can certainly help to create a new cohesion and to tackle previously insurmountable problems. But remember: hormones only help up to a certain point. After that, the heart and mind are in demand.

Sex with the ex can turn into good friendship.

Side effect No. 6: The flop becomes friendship

The fact is, sex with your ex can be sobering. However, disillusionment does not necessarily have to lead to disappointment. What can happen is one thing: Both notice that the train with the sex has simply left the train, despite short movements. The fire is out. Playing with them too. What remains is the quiet flame of friendship. Nice too! It has a (heart) warming effect and you can't get burned on it so quickly. However, this Hollywood-style happy ending is not guaranteed. Like none of the developments mentioned above. So the bottom line is that when it comes to the sex-with-the-ex question, there is probably only one thing left: give it a try.

Cover picture: Unsplash

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