What is meant by demi sexually?

Demisexual? What's this?

We are now familiar with technical terms such as pansexual or sapiosexual. But what is actually meant by the word demisexual? Literally translated it means: half sexual (French demi = half), half asexual. What exactly is the sexual orientation that is hidden behind it?

Who is called a demisexual person?

People who are demisexual have no fundamental sexual attraction towards others. Only when they have a strong emotional bond do they feel like having sex. Non-binding sex like in casual dating is therefore out of the question for demisexuals. It is a disposition, so it has nothing to do with upbringing or self-imposed renunciation. How demisexual people live with it is presented in very different ways.

What does demisexuality mean?

This term is used to describe people who tick in a certain way: They only feel sexually attracted to other people when they have already established a deep emotional relationship with them. In this respect, spontaneous smooching with a new acquaintance or a one night stand for a demisexual person are not an option. Demisexuals do not know erotically motivated crushes for stars or colleagues and neighbors who are perceived as sexy.

Without a deep emotional bond, they will not develop sexual attraction, but neither is it said that it will inevitably develop. Demisexuals want to get to know others intensively, understand them and feel safe with them. You are more likely to be guided by romantic feelings than physical desire.

What is the origin of demisexuality?

Nobody chooses to be demisexual. It's just like that - like homosexuality. Nobody decides for this emotional state because it is trendy at the moment. A demisexual orientation cannot be traced back to a prude parental home or an ascetic upbringing. Nor should she be misunderstood or classified as "typically female".

When do you know if you are demisexual?

Anyone looking for their sexual identity at a young age already realizes what is going on with him / her. If feelings about sex are characterized by restraint, demisexuals seldom encounter understanding among their peers. They notice that they are "different", but cannot conceptually name the difference. Even on the net there isn't too much education on the subject, not even on the LGBTIQ website.

Demisexuality: often misinterpreted

The people around you often cannot understand or classify your sexual behavior. If you're demisexual, others may think you're a late bloomer or an uptight. Even if you already know that thousands of other people feel the same way you do, you may find yourself construed as self-importance or misinformation.

What is the difference between demisexuals and asexuals?

Some people are completely disinterested in sexuality and do not develop a hint of lust in this regard. They are known as asexual. Demisexuals also experience phases in which they do not deal with sexuality at all. However, it is not a variant of asexuality. How demisexuals live out their senses cannot be lumped together. For example, there are people who are homosexual and demisexual at the same time.

How do demisexual partners come together?

The way the opportunities for fast dating are used these days, it cannot work for demisexuals. You need time for a relationship to develop. And it remains uncertain whether sexual attraction will ever develop at all. In order to escape this stress, many hope that existing and new friendships will one day become more.

Demisexuals may very well enjoy tenderness and sex, but they have a "longer lead" before they experience sexual desire. If you are demisexual, sex for the sake of one partner is a bad compromise and not a joy.

Why you should know the right terms

Those who define themselves as "normal" or "hetero" often believe that everything has been said. However, if you have a different mindset, it may not be easy to name your type of sexuality. Fortunately, once your orientation has a name, it gets easier. For this reason alone, it is important that we get to know these correct terms and use them in communication.

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