How can you feel more alive
Are you looking for the recipe to keep you feeling good all the time? Have you already gone through various advice and tips from coaches, but you just can't make it?
Welcome to the club of "feelers who don't feel good all the time"!
Table of Contents
We are people. And what makes us human are, among other things, our feelings. The whole range of feelings. We humans experience feelings - both pleasant and unpleasant.
We are here to experience. That also means: to feel. We are here to live; not to function like machines.
Ask yourself: When was the last time you felt really alive?
What do you think of immediately? Maybe an evening when the butterflies danced in you? A time in your life when your heart was bleeding and it seemed like it would never stop? Maybe a moment on the highway when adrenaline shot through you and luckily nothing happened? Or a phone call with a message that changed your whole life?
We usually feel alive when we experience intense feelings.
Can't we just perceive the pleasant feelings then?
Just as we need to alternate between tension and relaxation, there is no such thing as a life only with pleasant feelings. We cannot have one without the other because we live in a world of polarity. Anyone who has ever tried to suppress their unpleasant feelings will sooner or later realize that the pleasant feelings are also weakening. And at some point - it just has to come with the right trigger - the unpleasant feelings burst out again.
Also, let's imagine the scenario of someone leading a life where everything goes smoothly. Then how much does that person value their happiness? Can she even tell how lucky she is? Don't we need the unpleasant experiences that can also trigger unpleasant feelings, on the one hand to experience the contrast, but also to be able to develop ourselves further? And to be honest: isn't it unrealistic that something painful never happens to someone? Everyone loses loved ones at some point in their life, experiences disappointments or defeats.
Life consists of change and change always goes hand in hand with diverse (quite mixed) feelings. There is no standstill in our human experience. Even if we avoid changing, life will give us something that will force us to do so. However, these “gifts” can then be particularly hard to unwrap - be it because they are heavy losses, defeats or other strokes of fate. Either way, there is no human life that is free from it. Unpleasant feelings are part of such experiences. What matters is how we deal with it. If we try to ignore them, they won't go away and subconsciously continue to dominate us. Only when we consciously perceive and accept them do unpleasant feelings become lighter and lose their dominance or may even disappear completely.
No more illusion
So we can't just be in a good mood all the time, even if countless life coaches suggest that these days. What has this wishful thinking got to do with real life?
Of course, I give everyone countless beautiful experiences and feelings. And yes, there are phases when everything just seems rosy. And that's wonderful! I wish them to everyone! But put an end to the illusion that this can be the case forever! Because it has a huge downside: the shame, frustration, despair and self-doubt of those who can't get away with being in a good mood - even though they are doing their best.
Anyone who claims that life is only possible on the sunny side of life in a permanently good mood is setting an impossible task for themselves and those who emulate him or her. Failure is bound to happen. As a result, it is only a matter of time and conviction before disappointment occurs.
Where the sun shines, there also falls shadows. We cannot have one without the other. The sun will also set and only reappear on the horizon after a night with more or less moonlight.
And isn't it the case that those who know suffering can feel all the more intense joy through the contrast and can be especially grateful? For me it is definitely true.
If we were permanently well, we would get used to this condition and sooner or later no longer appreciate it. For example, who is grateful for their health if they have not already experienced illness themselves or experienced it in others? I will come back to the topic of gratitude later.
How are you feeling right now? Are you disaffected? Then please also read my article about how you can grow from disappointment.
So we can never be in a good mood. And I think that's not what we're here for either. So put an end to the pressure of constantly having to be in a good mood and, if necessary, simply put on a mask to make it appear that way. Instead, we should learn how to handle our emotions well.
You might also be interested in my article: "I don't want to wear a mask anymore - my personal plea for more authenticity and feeling"
Instead of feeling good all the time, it's about feeling good (again) at all.
Make friends with feelings and master life thanks to them
So we should be able to feel good again instead of just trying to feel good. Instead of fleeing from one's own emotional world and seeking in vain satisfaction in stimuli such as consumption, drugs, food, clothing, lust, stories (gossip and series), it is a matter of feeling the feelings that we are trying to ignore and numb, in order to perceive them again for what they are: signposts on your own path through life.
Only in this way can we ultimately experience truly satisfying feelings - even if not permanently. Yet the more we learn to feel again and have a healthy relationship to and healthy interaction with pleasant and uncomfortable feelings to develop, the easier we sail through our sea of emotions in which new currents and waves appear. Every feeling helps us navigate through life. And so the feelings come and go. Whoever accepts them for what they are will no longer hold onto them and realize how fleeting they are.
With a healthy handling of feelings, the pleasant ones can become more intense and the unpleasant ones pass faster, but not by trying to sweep them under the rug. If we try the latter, the unpleasant feelings inflate more and more. They subconsciously dominate us although and now because we ignore them. On the other hand, they become much less threatening when we give them the attention they demand. Because ultimately they have a good intention, want to protect us from dangers, for example, point out that we should approach something differently, help us to recognize the richness of life and much more.
Every feeling originally wants our best. If you give space to your feelings and recognize what they want to say to you, you will find that your own life is flowing, because you follow your inner navigation system. And he will be able to experience any intensity of feeling and notice that feelings no longer inflate and even pass very quickly.
Udo Baer and Gabriele Frick-Baer write in their great book of feelings: "Those who know and appreciate their feelings live better."
At the end of the day, all feelings are good - whether pleasant or uncomfortable - because they help us to find our own way and to cope with our lives.
Take a look back: When was your life really flowing? How much did you consider your feelings at the time?
Those who accept the diversity of life and develop trust in their feelings live their lives confidently and master both pleasant and unpleasant situations. That is an intensely lived life.
All feelings belong to the fullness of life. Anyone who does not want to act out individual ones is curtailing himself in his abundance and ignoring his best advisors.
I am for a life full of vitality and wealth of emotions, a life that corresponds entirely to you, a life with a wealth of experience. A rich, prosperous life.
You and your feelings
You decide what role feelings play in Yours Play life. How do you feel about your feelings? How much space do you give them? It is in your hand how alive you (yourself) feel.
On a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (perfect): How lively do you feel right now? And how alive would you like to feel? What can you do to feel more alive right after reading this article?
Feelings are human. And you have the opportunity to live in a rich world of emotions. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel. Perceive your feelings and together you will master your life.
If you want to consciously devote yourself to your feelings
If you want to learn how you can use your feelings as a signpost again, what they are actually intended for, if they should help you to go your way, then there are various options for you. Put an end to overwhelming feelings, mutilation and numbness.
On the one hand, I can tell you the book “Discover and respect feelings. An exercise book ”by Dr. med. Highly recommend Klaus Blaser.
Or let me accompany you, including with powerful exercises that I learned from Klaus Blaser. These flow into my eight-week mindfulness training, in constellations of my own interior space or the inner garden, as well as with any type of support during deep processes on site (for example, when taking a break to recharge your batteries), if this is necessary.
To deal with unpleasant feelings, I also give a little insight in my post on dealing with disappointments.
In another post of mine you will find out why your tears are so important.
And if you want to be prepared for the next "bad day", then create your own first aid kit.
If you are very top-heavy and would like to read more about feelings first, then you will learn more about our central human feelings in the great book of feelings by Udo Baer and Gabriele Frick-Baer.
And then there is another practice that I mentioned earlier in the article because:
„Not the lucky ones are grateful.
It is the grateful who are happy.“
- Sir Francis from Verulam Bacon
So if you want to consciously do something for your positive mood, then take part in my gratitude training and find your own individual gratitude practice.
To consciously explore your own emotional world is a transforming journey. Anyone who learns to be on the move in any wind and weather will truly get to know the wonderful world of emotions and the fullness of life, not those who try to sail only in sunshine.
I wish you a stable rudder and sails so that you can sail confidently through your life in any wind and weather!
All the best
PS. How are you feeling right now? Feel within yourself.
PPS. Do you know anyone this article can help? Then follow your impulse and share it with him or her.
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