Why do people like to talk
People who talk, talk and talk ... about themselves
Last update: October 29, 2016
At first they seem like the nicest people in the world. They are usually very social, entertaining and have attractive personalities.
Over time, however, you notice that these people become a burden: They talk too much and only about themselves. They tell you the same stories over and over again. You are the type of person who feels called to talk about any topic, even though you often don't know anything about it. And no one can make her shut up.
After talking to people like that, it seems like you've wasted your time. Because in the end it was no conversation. Instead it was easy just a very long monologue. And so, the next time you meet these people, it's very likely that you will come up with an excuse not to have to talk to them.
Someone who talks too much about himself has not created clear boundaries between himself and his surroundings. His narcissistic personality keeps him from realizing that he is not the center of the world is. And that's why he thinks it's normal for every conversation to be about him.
It doesn't even occur to these people that their constant chatter could bore others too. And if they are told this directly, then they will assume that the problem lies with the other person, and not with themselves.
This excessive need for attention that should be given only to them stems from subconscious insecurities. They feel valued when they can get others to listen to them all the time. They take this as some sort of proof of their own worth. This type of person does not manage to get in line with the wishes of others. Instead, he is always only concerned with his own needs.
Obviously, people who talk non-stop have a great need to be heard. Even though they may not really have anything to say. Talking to other people distracts them from their inner dialogue that we all have within us. This person doesn't want to listen to themselves. She just wants her to be listened to. You see yourself through other people's eyes.
The content of the "conversation"
Some people talk about themselves continuously in order to make some kind of inventory of their ailments. They don't ask for your help and they won't take any advice. They assume that you should just be considerate of them. Others do just the opposite: they tell you a series of stories to prove to you how awesome they are. They tell you about their thousand daily deeds and always expect some kind "Hooray!" from you.
Some people talk about their problems to ask for advice or help. It's like you're their private, free therapist. These people never ask you how you are or if you have problems too. They just assume their problems are bigger than yours and that it is your duty to listen to them and provide advice and assistance.
In all of these cases, there is never any real conversation. It's more of a form of manipulation with words. You take part in a strange game with them and sometimes feel some kind of obligation to stick with it. You feel an obligation to listen to them, pay homage to them, or feel sorry for them. But your connection with these people is not authentic. There is always a shadow over her "Something is wrong here".
It is good for you to be direct and friendly at some point that a conversation can be so much better when there is a chance to listen and talk. It is also good if you invite them to talk about other topics.
While it's not impossible to talk to this type of person because from time to time they revert to the kind people you have met, it is important to set boundaries. If you feel like this is affecting you, if you are feeling uncomfortable, or if feelings of emptiness or guilt arise, then it is best if you just leave.
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